Partner can't SCUBA

[Noki]

I was going to start this post with the subject: My wife won't go down... -
but most people would ignore it as spam.

I recently got my PADI certifications for Open Water Diving after getting
addicted to scuba doing an introductory dive on our honeymoon in Vanuatu.
Before then we had only done snorkelling. But I would LOVE it if my wife
would do scuba with me - it would make future holidays sooo much better for
both of us. Unfortunately, she did an introductory course a few years
before I met her and got a fright and wouldn't try it again. I think she
panicked and tried to breath through her nose or something, but now she
won't even try it once. She says that the pressure hurts her ears - she
can't clear them - but I think it is just an excuse. Can she get this
tested?

It doesn't matter what I say, she won't go past snorkelling. Does anyone
else have this problem? Did you overcome it? If so, how?

I don't want to push her too much until I have got further advice as she
will put up a wall labelled "scuba" and that will be it. But she is missing
a whole world of fun.

If you have a partner that won't scuba, how do you go when holidaying? I
suggested that if we go somewhere like Fiji for 6 days I should get at least
2 days scuba - so 1/3 scuba for any holiday. She wouldn't have it...


What can I do? Any suggestions would be appreciated.

Noki

[Michael Mackay-Blair]

Mine wont dive either but she wont stop me. As long as she has something to
do whilst I am diving.

MMB

Post by Noki
I was going to start this post with the subject: My wife won't go down... -
but most people would ignore it as spam.
I recently got my PADI certifications for Open Water Diving after getting
addicted to scuba doing an introductory dive on our honeymoon in Vanuatu.
Before then we had only done snorkelling. But I would LOVE it if my wife
would do scuba with me - it would make future holidays sooo much better for
both of us. Unfortunately, she did an introductory course a few years
before I met her and got a fright and wouldn't try it again. I think she
panicked and tried to breath through her nose or something, but now she
won't even try it once. She says that the pressure hurts her ears - she
can't clear them - but I think it is just an excuse. Can she get this
tested?
It doesn't matter what I say, she won't go past snorkelling. Does anyone
else have this problem? Did you overcome it? If so, how?
I don't want to push her too much until I have got further advice as she
will put up a wall labelled "scuba" and that will be it. But she is missing
a whole world of fun.
If you have a partner that won't scuba, how do you go when holidaying? I
suggested that if we go somewhere like Fiji for 6 days I should get at least
2 days scuba - so 1/3 scuba for any holiday. She wouldn't have it...
What can I do? Any suggestions would be appreciated.
Noki

[Noki]

Post by Michael Mackay-Blair
Mine wont dive either but she wont stop me. As long as she has something to
do whilst I am diving.
MMB

Yes... she does need a hobby... I wish she would find something that would
take her interest instead of expecting me to entertain her every second that
I am not at work... hmmm... It is a dilemma. I went through the same issues
when I started riding road bikes. I can understand not wanting to be part
of the bike scene but scuba is something just about anyone can do. BTW, I
am currently selling a Honda CBR250R if you know anyone on the Gold Coast
that wants one? Around $3200 - (should cover my basic Scuba needs for a
while)...

Anyone else have any suggestions?

[in Sydney]

I suppose it is to late, but you could find another wife ;o)
Alain

On Tue, 27 Apr 2004 14:11:21 +1000, "Noki"

Post by Noki
Anyone else have any suggestions?

For my Email
add .au at the end of
***@comcen.com

[OceanSwimmer]

Post by Noki
*
Yes... she does need a hobby... I wish she would find something that would
take her interest instead of expecting me to entertain her every second that
I am not at work... hmmm... It is a dilemma. I went through the same issues
when I started riding road bikes. I can understand not wanting to be part
of the bike scene but scuba is something just about anyone can do.
BTW, I
am currently selling a Honda CBR250R if you know anyone on the Gold Coast
that wants one? Around $3200 - (should cover my basic Scuba needs for a
while)...
Anyone else have any suggestions? *

If she will at go snorkelling while you dive, at least you'd be in the
same boat/ same venue...and you're in a part of the world that has so
many awesome diving (and snorkeling/freediving) sites. It would be a
shame if you two fought over how to spend time whilst in
Paradise....does she enjoy Ocean Kayaking? That's a lot of fun, and is
compatible with scuba.
-- As far as a 'test' for the ability to clear one's ears....I haven't
heard of any such thing. You might double check at www.scuba-doc.com
They can answer your question best.
If she likes being in the water, you've got a prayer that eventually she
will move towards scuba. Don't push it, though. We females are resistant
to pressure. :duh
[[ I'm lucky, my partner is a spearo, and I want to learn. I'm having
typical 'newbie' experiences, like seasickness last week :o no biggie.
When it happened, I needed to just surface-swim for awhile. I'm a
roughwater swimmer, so I'm easing into freediving. I also think my
confidence in the water is better when I'm consistent with my gym
workouts/ and distance swims.
She might someday show interest and need 1:1 type instruction when she
is ready.
The other option is to join a local scuba club and get a dive buddy.
Clubs often have social events that are spouse friendly, and she might
recognize this is an interest that means a lot to you. It would be good
if she chatted with other women who scuba. Give her time and be
consistent pursuing your interests...without lecturing.

Hope this improves for you. Good luck.


--
OceanSwimmer

"How quiet!..Nothing remained but the ultimate present and naked
reality: fresh air, black night, and twinkling skies. Almost
imperceptibly sight and hearing opened wide again and let a breeze blow
right through my soul." Thor Heyerdahl, Aku Aku
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Posted via DeeperBlue.net - Your Online Resource for the UnderWater World.

------------------------------------------------------------------------
OceanSwimmer's Profile: http://forums.deeperblue.net/member.php?action=getinfo&userid=1165
View this thread on DeeperBlue.net: http://forums.deeperblue.net/showthread.php?threadid=49806

[Noki]

Thank you OceanSwimmer! You have been most helpful. When I am diving this
weekend I will talk to some of the other divers and check out if any of them
are part of a local social diving club (or something). Also, I think she
would love to go snorkelling if we can get her a seat on the boat - I never
thought of that.

I shall investigate further.

Noki

[OceanSwimmer]

Noki, You're most welcome :cool:
The good news about being a snorkeler/freediver on a dive-boat is that
the fee is usually reduced. The 'extra' person isn't needing tanks or a
Dive Master...less work. Plus, if she enjoys the exercise it makes the
whole experience worthwhile. Don't forget the seasickness meds! I forgot
I could get sick while freediving...even off a beach :o
The aim is to have a great time and if you both love the ocean...you'll
get to share memories and experiences, all good.
Take care out there.

OceanSwimmer[Fiji-bound on 7/1/04! :king]


--
OceanSwimmer

"How quiet!..Nothing remained but the ultimate present and naked
reality: fresh air, black night, and twinkling skies. Almost
imperceptibly sight and hearing opened wide again and let a breeze blow
right through my soul." Thor Heyerdahl, Aku Aku
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Posted via DeeperBlue.net - Your Online Resource for the UnderWater World.

------------------------------------------------------------------------
OceanSwimmer's Profile: http://forums.deeperblue.net/member.php?action=getinfo&userid=1165
View this thread on DeeperBlue.net: http://forums.deeperblue.net/showthread.php?threadid=49806

[Poida]

Noki
Try wife swapping. It was the rage in the 60s. There were wife
swapping parties where all the men threw their keys into a pile and the
women would pick them out at random and the woman that had your keys was
yours for the night.
This I feel could be adapted where you could find another couple where
she likes scuba diving and he doesn't. And, swap wives.
The only problem is, if he's got a longer snorkle than you and can go
deeper.
Glad to be of help
Poida


--
Poida
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Posted via DeeperBlue.net - Your Online Resource for the UnderWater World.

------------------------------------------------------------------------
Poida's Profile: http://forums.deeperblue.net/member.php?action=getinfo&userid=2528
View this thread on DeeperBlue.net: http://forums.deeperblue.net/showthread.php?threadid=49806

[Noki]

Post by Poida
Noki
Try wife swapping. It was the rage in the 60s. There were wife
swapping parties where all the men threw their keys into a pile and the
women would pick them out at random and the woman that had your keys was
yours for the night.
This I feel could be adapted where you could find another couple where
she likes scuba diving and he doesn't. And, swap wives.
The only problem is, if he's got a longer snorkle than you and can go
deeper.
Glad to be of help
Poida
--
Poida
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Posted via DeeperBlue.net - Your Online Resource for the UnderWater World.
------------------------------------------------------------------------

http://forums.deeperblue.net/member.php?action=getinfo&userid=2528
http://forums.deeperblue.net/showthread.php?threadid=49806



hmmm... I like the way you think, very funny and witty too. However, my
wife is a conservative little Japanese woman that wouldn't approve of that
sort of behaviour...

I discussed it with her and she said she wouldn't mind going snorkelling if
she can get a seat on the boat and they won't charge full price. So we may
have found a compromise that works. Thanks for all your suggestions -
especially OceanSwimmer. I will let you know if anything changes - maybe
being out on the boat may make her curious enough to give it another go...
We'll see.

Noki

[Michael Mackay-Blair]

You dont want to do that as Wife V1 costs more than WifeV2....even more for
V1.1 1.2 and 1.3

Introduce her to Geocaching..

www.geocaching.com.au

MMB

Post by in Sydney
I suppose it is to late, but you could find another wife ;o)
Alain
On Tue, 27 Apr 2004 14:11:21 +1000, "Noki"

Post by Noki
Anyone else have any suggestions?

For my Email
add .au at the end of

[Allan]

Post by Michael Mackay-Blair
You dont want to do that as Wife V1 costs more than WifeV2....even more for
V1.1 1.2 and 1.3
Introduce her to Geocaching..
www.geocaching.com.au
MMB

Hi MMB
Do you have a geocache?
Been to the Lena lately?
Al

[Michael Mackay-Blair]

Not recently. I went out with Rick Cross mid January and was very impressed.

I havnt got a cache yet but have found 7 this last weekend. Will be putting
one down next weekend....I hope!

ps Can you email me please Al?

Post by Allan

Post by Michael Mackay-Blair
You dont want to do that as Wife V1 costs more than WifeV2....even more

for

Post by Michael Mackay-Blair
V1.1 1.2 and 1.3
Introduce her to Geocaching..
www.geocaching.com.au
MMB

Hi MMB
Do you have a geocache?
Been to the Lena lately?
Al

[Noki]

Post by in Sydney
I suppose it is to late, but you could find another wife ;o)
Alain

Thanks for the suggestion, but I have already invested too much time and
money into my current model to go and replace her now... However, we nearly
broke up (we were just dating at the time) when I started riding road bikes
and I was spending every spare minute either riding or working on my bike.

Noki

[dechucka]

Post by Noki
I was going to start this post with the subject: My wife won't go down... -
but most people would ignore it as spam.
I recently got my PADI certifications for Open Water Diving after getting
addicted to scuba doing an introductory dive on our honeymoon in Vanuatu.
Before then we had only done snorkelling. But I would LOVE it if my wife
would do scuba with me - it would make future holidays sooo much better for
both of us. Unfortunately, she did an introductory course a few years
before I met her and got a fright and wouldn't try it again. I think she
panicked and tried to breath through her nose or something, but now she
won't even try it once. She says that the pressure hurts her ears - she
can't clear them - but I think it is just an excuse. Can she get this
tested?
It doesn't matter what I say, she won't go past snorkelling. Does anyone
else have this problem? Did you overcome it? If so, how?
I don't want to push her too much until I have got further advice as she
will put up a wall labelled "scuba" and that will be it. But she is missing
a whole world of fun.
If you have a partner that won't scuba, how do you go when holidaying? I
suggested that if we go somewhere like Fiji for 6 days I should get at least
2 days scuba - so 1/3 scuba for any holiday. She wouldn't have it...
What can I do? Any suggestions would be appreciated.

my wife can't dive (severe asthmatic ) On holidays we used go to islands
where I can dive the mornings and we snorkel the afternoons or visa versa.
We have kids now; I dive she looks after the kids; she snorkels with our
eldests I look after the kids. The only thing I miss out on is live aboard
diving but hey I have been their done that

[pix]

Noki - I have introduced many many people to Scuba, including my current
wife (one and only of 25+ years ;-) I am not an instructor and this may
actually help some - I am not pushing people into a course (with respect to
all instructors).

Rule No 1. Don't have expectations. If she does not want to do it, end of
story. Don't push.

Rule No 2. Let her (or him) do it all at their own pace - introduce each
aspect of scuba slowly and let them get used to it at their own time.

I introduce people very slowly - usually shore dives. I explain very
carefully each step; introduce the mask, then reg on land, then underwater
on hands and knees, then with fins and a swim in hip deep water with me
holding the tank valve. Then I will suit up and while holding hands (male or
female) do a very gentle descent from the shore. If at any time they pull
up, we go back a few steps and still with the them in control we cruise
around till the end of the dive. (This is the simple version).

This has worked for me 100% of the time - and for the friends who I have
introduced to diving. Many off them have gone onto do OW, RD, DM etc.

The test for clearing ears is holding the nose and blowing - if the ears
click they should be fine. A doctor may like to observe the ear drums while
this is happening.

Good luck!

/pix

Post by Noki
I was going to start this post with the subject: My wife won't go down... -
but most people would ignore it as spam.
I recently got my PADI certifications for Open Water Diving after getting
addicted to scuba doing an introductory dive on our honeymoon in Vanuatu.
Before then we had only done snorkelling. But I would LOVE it if my wife
would do scuba with me - it would make future holidays sooo much better for
both of us. Unfortunately, she did an introductory course a few years
before I met her and got a fright and wouldn't try it again. I think she
panicked and tried to breath through her nose or something, but now she
won't even try it once. She says that the pressure hurts her ears - she
can't clear them - but I think it is just an excuse. Can she get this
tested?
It doesn't matter what I say, she won't go past snorkelling. Does anyone
else have this problem? Did you overcome it? If so, how?
I don't want to push her too much until I have got further advice as she
will put up a wall labelled "scuba" and that will be it. But she is missing
a whole world of fun.
If you have a partner that won't scuba, how do you go when holidaying? I
suggested that if we go somewhere like Fiji for 6 days I should get at least
2 days scuba - so 1/3 scuba for any holiday. She wouldn't have it...
What can I do? Any suggestions would be appreciated.
Noki

[Noki]

Thank you very much for your excellent words of wisdom Pix. Maybe over time
she will get curious and want to try it again. Until then I will keep
everyone's helpful advice in mind.

Noki

[DNorris12]

Having been married once to someone who wouldn't do much of anything, not even
swimming, I would say you have two choices.
First, be glad that she's willing to snorkle and make the most of it when you
can. Who knows, she just might give scuba a second try eventually.

Second choice, while not especially appealing to someone who is newly married
is to simply let her know that she'll be a scuba widow for a few weeks out of
the year. Not too bad when you consider there are Bowling Widows, Golf Widows,
etc.

[dechucka]

Post by DNorris12
Having been married once to someone who wouldn't do much of anything, not even
swimming, I would say you have two choices.
First, be glad that she's willing to snorkle and make the most of it when you
can. Who knows, she just might give scuba a second try eventually.
Second choice, while not especially appealing to someone who is newly married
is to simply let her know that she'll be a scuba widow for a few weeks out of
the year. Not too bad when you consider there are Bowling Widows, Golf Widows,
etc.

and hopefully she won't get wet with someone else as they go down